It is commonly believed that grief is experienced when the loss occurs after a prolonged illness, but when someone is facing a terminal illness, family and friends, and even the patient may begin to grieve in response to all that this process will entail.

The fears and feelings that will surface are best aired rather than ignored to make this process as healthy as possible. People may go through many different emotional states during bereavement and will begin before the physical loss of the loved one; this is called anticipatory grief. We share with you some tips to help you through this grieving process in the presence of a terminal illness:

1. Manage grief emotions appropriately: denial, anger, and sadness are part of the process. It is important that you recognize and accept all emotions, and remember that they are all normal and necessary and should not be repressed.

2. Give maximum attention to the present and avoid rushing future decisions: worry leads to anxious anticipation for something that has not yet happened, and also leads the person to a state of apprehension or alertness to the eventual occurrence of a threatening situation. However, nothing of what is in the future can be controlled and it is an obstacle to assume pertinent actions in the face of the event.

3. Recognize your own capabilities: many things and decisions are not completely under your control, it is important to recognize your limits and accept them to avoid frustration.

4. Maintain clear communication with the patient: keep in constant communication with your loved one and remember that showing empathy is fundamental to establishing a good relationship. Empathy consists of putting yourself in the patient’s shoes and trying to perceive the situation as they feel it.

5. Self-care: it is important to remember that your own health is also important to take care of. Spend your free time doing activities that you enjoy and that give you satisfaction.

6. Be aware that anticipatory grief can help you prepare for it: Anticipatory grief is a common experience, occurring with every loss we can predict in life. It is normal to feel all the emotions of grief and this will help you cope with the loss when the time comes.

Sources: 

American Cancer Society